While the just concluded 2014 Medical Home Summit was a wonderful learning and networking confab, it did have it's moments of jargon-laced salesmanship.

Think mixing two parts suspect data with one part dubious claims and a helping of preordained conclusions, bake with PowerPoint and serve to a fawning audience with a garnish of sweeping generalizations. And the dessert?  Applause.

Naturally, some of the Population Health Blog's evidence-based colleagues fussed over the occasional spills of snake oil. The PHB isn't at all concerned, because it was taught years ago by the old disease management industry that even the most pristine research in the most elite journals gets spun.

And let's face it: we collectively crossed that Rubicon when the Mr. Obama sold us a health insurance reform program that promised we could keep our doctors.

Since we all gotta make a living, the PHB is pleased to offer a free service to its more honest, non-for-profit and spin-challenged colleagues. It has combined its trove of disease management nostrums with a list of medical home keywords (underlined) that appeared in many of the Summit's presentations and huckstered over cheese and wine during the Exhibit Hall receptions:

Our (insert name of your medical home program) is a transformative and population-based initiative that shifts health care delivery from volume to value that proves that that JAMA article (link here) was wrong. Our transparency is only matched by our EHR registry and teaming of physicians, nurse practitioners, social workers, office staff, clerks, temps and janitorial service workers and we (pick one: have been, will be or should be) the subject of a (pick one: grant or report) by (pick one or more: PCPCC, the Commonwealth Fund, AHRQ, Medical Home News) that further shows why JAMA was woefully mistaken.

By proactively focusing on impactful care coordination and reducing care gaps, engagement of both patients and primary care providers drives triple-aim outcomes that include (insert percent numbers here without p values), which further demonstrates the JAMA article is a despicable outlier.

Our savings, enhanced clinical outcomes, decreases in readmissions, improved patient care experience and betterment of the community show that (name of medical home program) is foundational to the success of accountable care, which is why JAMA sucks.

As a result, we conclude that (pick one or more: politicians, employers) (pick one: wisely have or definitely should) require commercial and government insurers to pay (pick one or more: millions, specialists less, or through the nose) to save primary care despite what JAMA says.

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